Tuesday, June 09, 2015

India - Horny, O K, Please!

Worry Warts for India Travel
Despite the numerous bad mouthing you have heard on Social Media and by word-of-mouth, nay, fingers typing away, you have once again let all warnings to go unheard, as the devil-may-dare attitude took over your mind and at last you have gone and done the worst – booked to come to India!

This is like Hotel California – you can come in, but mind you, you might never leave!

I am not one of those pessimists who think India is a bad country for travelers to stop by. Indeed not! But I certainly wonder, what drives their groins and pushes them to come here, after hearing all about the Uber case, random rapes, causing India to be #4 in the list of rape countries in the world, Maggi stories that have been doing their rounds ever since the year began. I guess it is just a wild side of each one of us – what you most dread, you also want to experience.

So go ahead. Sample this. Most men will address your breast, instead of your face. If you think that is awesome, then beware. Men in India have a fixation for the breast. What! Did I hear you say, it is a worldwide phenomenon? I won’t agree or disagree but elsewhere you can report offensive behavior; here you only get few more eyes to stare at your breasts, if you go to report it at the police station.

So you may ask, as to why you can’t intervene and tell them to look directly in your eyes, when speaking to you. The fact is, they can’t! And please to remember, you too, don’t! Don’t stare at men in their eyes, because, for you it might mean you are coming from your truth, but for him, it might mean that you are inviting him to nocturnal delights, in broad daylight. Besides, if you are white, you definitely stand a high risk, because Indians are racist and they haven’t yet forgotten the British Raj! In fact, they are obsessed with white. Look at the number of men who use that fairness cream – Fair & Lovely!

However, now that you have decided to enter the forbidden country – remember your mother, grandmother, grandfather and grand uncle, had warned you against such perilous paths, be prepared with a few TIPs while you are here.

Touch, can mean many things, but most of all, here it is sexual. Hence, if you are about to fall into a great big hug, remember, you might be even thought to be making a pass. Therefore, do wear your English gloves and do a plain Namaste, or a gentle handshake, using only the tip of your fingers to shake the other’s hand.

Eating out on the street is an absolute No! No! They are hot and delicious but your intestines are not going to like it! So beware!

Buy whole fruits, put them in water for an hour at least. Then cut with a knife and eat little by little. Get your own nuts from your own country to fill you up, if you are suddenly hungry. Get lots of nuts – lots!

If you are using a Public Toilet, even in a Five Star hotel, don’t sit on the seat, just hang over it and be done with it! After all, all gymnastics don’t have to be done in the Gym only.

Wash your hands as many times as you can. Use sanitizer all the time. Which is why I say, wear your English gloves!

Drink only bottled water! Lots and lots of it! If nothing else, it will wash the tension off your worry warts.

Stay close to your friends when out on the street or in the night. Indians think the night is the only time they can do the ‘unmentionable’ because sex is such a taboo here.  Believe me, you need to watch this video here below.





 Picture of Worry Warts: Credit Here



Post a Comment