Why India Needs To SCREAM!

PHOTO CREDIT HERE 

Dear Advocate Devika Singh,

Way back in 1997, the honourable Indian Supreme Court set up Vishaka Guidelines which you have commented upon in your blog 

However, it is important to remind ourselves on this subject of What is sexual harassment?

The honourable Indian Supreme Court has clearly defined it as under:

Sexual harassment includes such unwelcome sexually determined behavior (whether directly or by implication) as:

a) physical contact and advances;

b) a demand or request for sexual favors;

c) sexually colored remarks;

d) showing pornography;

e) any other unwelcome physical verbal or non-verbal conduct of sexual nature.

Courtesy: Wikipedia: 

In the present case, with regard to acquitting Mohammad Farooqui in the case filed against him for rape by a complainant residing in the United States, your powerful poem moved me to write this email to you. You have touched upon the many times and the multiple ways patriarchy which propagate power of male gender homo-sapiens  commonly known as man, in our society and empowered them to use power, physical, mental, psychological, over women. Thus, over ages, society wired in by this insidious crime against women, has got away with the worst because, the system is too deeply entrenched in the minds of men, and women alike, prompting them to bring up their daughters to be victims and sons to be forever ‘right’ even as a perpetrator.

I have read and gone through the entire proceedings and the content of the email. I came across this on FaceBook via my good friend Aditi Ray.

Frankly, the email is misleading sometimes, and has thus been used by the Bench of Justices S.A. Bobde and L. Nageswara Rao (please to note, there was no woman Judge on this panel, which is unacceptable when the case is about rape), to acquit the accused director of Piplee Live, Mohammad Farooqui for the 2^nd time in January 2018, after he was acquitted in the High Court in 2015. The grounds cited are evident from her email – “She said I love you and kissed him- 

Explanation 2,. Sec 375 defined Rape in the following Link 

It clearly states:

“375. A man is said to commit "rape" who except in the case hereinafter excepted, has sexual intercourse with a woman under circumstances falling under any of the five following descriptions:  

Firstly. Against her will.      

Secondly. Without her consent.   

Thirdly. With her consent, when her consent has been obtained by putting her in fear of death, or of hurt.   

Fourthly. With her consent, when the man knows that he is not her husband, and that her consent is given because she believes that he is another man to whom she is or believes herself to be lawfully married.         

Fifthly. With or without her consent, when she is under fourteen years of age.

Explanation. Penetration is sufficient to constitute the sexual intercourse necessary to the offence of rape.  

Exception. Sexual intercourse by a man with his own wife, the wife not being under thirteen years of age, is not rape.”

Mohammad Farooqui is guilty on all grounds stated above. She did not give consent. In fact, she continued to say no, even as he pushed himself harder on her.

It is yet to establish, whether a thorough in depth inquiry had been made on the content of the email, for the complainant does appear to be under duress and even confused in her own head to have made statements that did not tally throughout. Yet, picking up statements like ‘I love you’ or ‘making drinks for him’, ‘they were friends’ ‘faked orgasm’ when she says earlier that this was the first time, and coming to conclusion that the complainant had given consent is drawing a conclusion too soon. Was the complainant questioned to find out her background, whether she was a victim of child sexual abuse in the past, or why she shot off an email that was confusing in content? And most importantly, why Mohammad Farooqui, guilty on two accounts – first, for cheating on his wife, in their house, right under her nose, and then secondly, committing rape when his wife was out of the house, is still acquitted, leaves much to be desired. The case seems to be hurried to conclusion, favouring the man, in an all male Bench, with no desire to open and scrutinize the case, once again, since it was brought forward after the High Court had passed its judgment in favour of Mohammad Farooqui. If the complainant appealed to the honourable Supreme Court, then was it not the duty of the SC to relook at the case from a fresh angle, without quickly dismissing it as ‘High Court’ has taken the most measured and well-thought out decision, and so the case is closed and The Supreme Court does not wish to open the case again?

If justice be done, then, the case must be reopened and scrutinized.

(a)  More inputs on the content of the email is required and deciphering its true meaning, which to me is unclear, since there is a lot written between the lines which has not been taken account of.

(b)  Mohammad Farooqui must be bought to task on clear evidence of a double deceit, one against his wife and the other against the complainant by forcing himself against her will even though she constantly said no to it; for un-natural oral sex with the victim and then penetration which makes the entire procedure tantamount to rape.

(c)  Consultation with Psychologists and persons working with Child Sexual Abuse victims for a more in-depth meaning of the email. There is a need for far more public discourse and involvement to garner strength over the case which is shoved under the carpet by the honourable Supreme Court saying they do not wish to re-look at the decision made by the Mumbai High Court, as they are quite sure that the conclusion arrived at is after profound deliberations on the said case at hand.

(d)  Bench must consist of woman as judge along with gender male judge to make the judgment acceptable.

(e)  The Supreme Court must answer why it is flaunting its own judgment and guidelines set up by Vishaka Guidelines and also Explanation 2, Sec 375

A time has come that India needs to SCREAM loudly about atrocities against women and the law-less-ness that prevails in our country over Rape which is rampant across the country and goes unreported at most times and dismissed if brought before Law of the country.

Precisely why, the complainant returned abroad to file an FIR, because, within India, the custodians of law and order, the Public Police Service are reluctant to do so.

Mohammad Farooqui may be free man, but is a perpetrator on the prowl. He is symbolic of the decadence of a society that thrives on lies and male power to dominate and subjugate woman they wish to objectify to meet the carnal desires of their oft deranged minds - their mother, sister, daughter, wife, and girlfriend.   

Whose children are these?

Children live in their own fancy world and dream up their own realities around the world they live in. Many a times, this world is punctured by adults with their desires which are very jarring for the child. In India, the girl child is attacked from even before she is born to the entire period of her life, in many ways, physical or psychological. While we acknowledge, and have laws to protect, the girl child/adult, many a time, these laws are there in paper and never followed up with action.

One of the heinous crimes against children is Child Sexual Abuse. This crime always, almost takes place within families, among friends of the family, people who the child trusts as does the family.

In a story told by a 78 year old lady from an elite background in Bengal, she recalled how, when she was a little girl, their home was frequently visited by her maternal uncle who lived in a town near Kolkata. During this visit, he molested and performed odd acts of sexual nature, forcing himself on the lady, then only a child and made her do things to him, which her child mind could not comprehend but was hugely disturbed to participate in. She did not have words for it at that time, however, at a later stage; she did open her mouth and tell her mother. Her mother refused to believe her and confronted her brother, whereupon, he denied it completely. The matter was put away, as if the lady had lied. When, in later years, she was found to resist her husband’s approaches, which lead him to leave the marriage, and she develop cancer of the uterus, out of the enormous amount of unresolved negative emotions she harboured around sex, it is only as a cancer survivor, speaking up her truth as a means to come to terms with the happenings of her childhood, and rid herself of the guilt and shame she suffered all her life, for no fault of hers, did she find listeners, who were a family of cancer survivors, quite far from her own.

This story is only one among dozens of cases of Child Sexual Abuse that happen on a daily basis, across all sections of society in India. The crime, least acknowledged as one, inside the family is quickly hidden away or covered up. At best the abuser is asked not to visit any more. But what if the abuser is the own father? Where can we send this person? Our imagination may not want to accept this reality, but the fact is, this too is a glaring fact in India and elsewhere in the world.

The abuser never admits to the crime. Nobody goes to law for this. There are as little cases in the Police Stations in India on this issue – who will go? What will happen to the name of the family? What will the family do, if the abuser is the bread winner in the family?

We need laws to protect children, from heinous crimes of this nature, if not in their homes, then it becomes a moral responsibility of schools they go to, to keep a strong eye watching out for children who might be showing signs of stress. Teachers, adults at home and in places where the child visits, like Tuition Classes and wherever, have to be sensitized. Not only that, stricter rules must come in place and where the Public Legal System have to be empowered to visit dysfunctional homes or schools where any child suspected to be violated sexually must be contacted and parents brought under stricter vigilance and punishment. Since Child Sexual Abuse, more than often, happens in the family, there must be means and ways to intervene, even within the family, for this is true, that the family hides the truth.

Older than perhaps the institution of prostitution, Child Sexual Abuse is not a problem that has come up now, or affects only the rich or the people living in the Metros, it is as old as human interaction between a child and pathological adults are concerned.

What are we as a government or law makers doing about it? Why must we as a society take so little cognition of this crime or hide it or just go about saying that it probably is a story told by a child from her own dream world?

If you are someone who has gone through CSA or know of someone who is undergoing one, it is time to raise alarm. You can reach out to # 100 anywhere in India; you do not need the family’s permission to do that.

The question I am leaving you with is: Why must we have so much respect for this institution called family, when, it is unable to protect children?

To read and listen more: http://www.aljazeera.com/news/asia/2013/02/20132765015394120.html

Feedback from an author about my book

Available on Amazon.com

RA: Hi Julia, I'm reading "Until Death Do Us Part". What a wonderful, bold collection! You should seek out more reviews for your book. It deserves more visibility.

Julia Dutta: Thank you! Be the first to review, especially if you can put it up on Amazon itself. It counts there. You know, I do my job; it is for others to review/talk about it etc. But even a note from you, fulfills the purpose of writing. The book has touched one heart. I believe it has many. My job is over.

RA: Amazon's been discouraging reviews by fellow authors, which is why you should seek out other book reviewers. They've taken down quite a few of these even for me.

Julia Dutta: I know that they have been refusing to allow those who downloaded the book in the Kindle Free Download Offer to comment. The book will find its destiny, as they always do. Somehow, I feel very strange about promoting my own work. Finally, I am advertising professional - have you seen people in that profession scream and shout about their campaigns? I am grateful for your suggestions. I do take them very seriously and tweet about them.

RA: Even mainstream authors are required to promote their own books now, and you and I are self-published. I promote my book by offering it to book bloggers who blog in my genre. Have you ever seen me tout my book on any groups? I hate in-your-face marketing, as well.

One thing I would recommend for your book is the hiring of a professional editor next time before you send your work to a publisher. The book is very well written, though.

Also, the readership for your book will be necessarily limited because the shades of lesbianism will make people uncomfortable. I see you have not listed a category for your book. Want to try gay and lesbian literature/romance to see if you can find more readers/reviewers?

Julia Dutta: Thank you so much for your engagement with my book. The book has been published by Xynobooks LLC, USA. I have not self published. Regarding the editing, I agree with you totally; next time I will send in the text for professional editing before I send it to a publication. What I have found in this one is, like all good Editors, the publisher/Editor interferes very little with the manuscript and they do not add much to the text. So on my next one, I have been careful, done a lot of work myself. I can suggest to my publisher to add, Lesbian, gay, CSA etc. As you can see the Publishers have targeted Women as a category, to market to. "Stories of women from India" they said. Some of the stories are as old as 1985! Others are as new as 2011.

I am part of LinkedIn writers group and everyone there seems to have Self-Published and they do market their books very well. My publisher has said that the comment on Amazon is BEST and also talking about it on Twitter, as the book is naturally targeted to reach the hungry for India stories, NRI possessing Kindle, iPad, Tablet etc. In India, it is yet a far cry, the Kindle I mean.

RA: Btw, The formatting could have been better. The text being centered in my Kindle, is very hard to read. I format books, so I know this can be done better. People often will not read a book if the formatting is bad.

Julia Dutta: Do you mind if I told my publishers about the formatting? Perhaps they need feedback too to improve on their software too! Thanks a ton for talking to me.

Cheers!

Case Study: Does Violence Against Women Begin At Home

Madhavi is in the last year of School. Her board exams will start in March. She is under considerable pressure of studies at this moment. But she is almost at breaking point and cannot concentrate in her studies as there are unmentionable problems at home which are driving to the point of suicide. Her neighbour, a strong and dependable girl, Nisha, who is also a good friend and studies in the same school, has found that Madhavi is behaving very peculiarly. One day, at about 10.30 am, about an hour before they are about to leave for school, she goes to Madhavi’s house. Normally at that hour, Madhavi is at home alone with her father, who works with Bombay’s Local Train services. Her mother leaves for work by 9 am.

On arriving at Madhavi’s house, Nisha is about to ring the door bell, but has stopped short. She can hear a whimpering sound inside. It is Madhavi’s voice. Nisha puts her ear to the door and is surprised to hear Madhavi plead –

“Daddy, no! Daddy, no, please no…” between tears. Nisha is curious. She tries to catch the sound of a slap, or a beating. Was Madhavi’s being beaten by her father? But no, there is no such sound at all, except the whimpering and the same haunting Daddy, no! Daddy, no, please no. Nisha decides to leave but not before she has made up her mind to confront Madhavi about this. Inside the bus, on the way to School, Nisha tells Madhavi, she has some wonderful news to tell her but she can tell her this, only after School. They must meet after they have returned. Madhavi is excited.

After school, the two girls meet for a walk. It is not uncommon for the two girls to take a walk after they return from school. But today, is different.

“What was happening inside the house this morning when I came to meet you at 10.30 this morning?” Nisha asks directly coming to the point right away.

Madhavi becomes defensive. “You came? You should have rung the bell!”

“I would have but for the fact that I could hear you crying inside and pleading - Daddy, no! Daddy, no, please no!”
Madhavi suddenly became very scared. The colour left her face and she hurried to leave. Nisha grabbed her hand insisting that she tell the truth before she flees. Madhavi breaks down in tears. It is perhaps, the first time she has cried about herself in front of someone.

“Nisha,” she blurts out as if unable to hold the fact any longer, “Daddy is forcing me to have sex with him!”

The words out, Nisha and Madhavi are dumb struck. Nisha continues to look ahead as her fingers and heart freeze while Madhavi continues to cry.

“On and on, it has been more than a year……” Madhavi adds, wiping the tears off her eyes.

Once in change of the situation, Nisha, pleads with Madhavi to disclose this to her mother as soon as possible. Madhavi is scared. What if her mother does not believe her? What if her father accuses her of lying? What if he threatens to leave them? But, Nisha is insistent. Madhavi must end this by telling her mother about it. And if Madhavi finds it so hard to say it, then she threatens to tell Madhavi’s mother herself.

Madhavi is really scared now. Under no circumstance can that happen. The next day, between sobs, she tells her mother about what has been happening in the house for the last one and a half years. Madhavi’s mother is astonished and angry. Was it not what happened earlier too with Madhavi’s elder sister, Lata as well? In fact, that is why to take Lata away from her husband, she had sent Lata to Bangalore to pursue her studies. But that was two years ago. She could hardly believe that after the fight and the apology from her husband, that he should continue his evil acts on their younger daughter as well.

She confronted her husband. He flew into a fit of anger. He screamed at his wife and taking his wallet, he left the house threatening to never return again.

The last blow had been dealt out. Had not Madhavi feared this all along? What was she going to do? What would her mother do? Would she not blame her for indirectly chasing her father out of the house?

She dashed to Nisha – “See, what you have done? Why did you force me to tell my mother? Now, my father has left the house!”

“Let him! He will return shortly. Where will he go?” Nisha was cool.
And so it was, that after the hue and cry, Madhavi’s father returned home after two hours but continued to make everyone suffer the consequences of making public his evil deed, by stopping to talk to everyone in the house, stopping to eat in the house, etc, etc. But as all abusers will, he finally gave up all his psychological blackmailing to return to normal. Another example of violence against women, springing from within the safety of what we call a home, ended.

But this time, I have a few questions to ask, the first being –

Does violence against women begin at home?

Second, are women in household an accomplice to this violence?

Okay, given the fact this is a Case Study of a magnitude that we think rarely happens in all families in India, the UNIFEM report quotes - “Violence against women and girls continues unabated in every continent, country and culture. It takes a devastating toll on women’s lives, on their families, and on society as a whole. Most societies prohibit such violence — yet the reality is that too often, it is covered up or tacitly condoned. — UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon, 8 March 2007 (See http://www.unifem.org/campaigns/vaw/facts_figures.php)

My second question is more pertinent. Given the fact that violence is there, and in many cases it begins are home, is it not the woman’s responsibility to ensure the safety of their children? In the above case, what is wrong with Madhavi’s mother? Why was she so naïve? Her elder daughter had had to face the same plight vis-à-vis her husband’s pathological behaviour as well. Why did she not take precautions to see that it did not recur again? Why did she not warn Madhavi about it and cautioned her in advance? Did she want to maintain a stoic silence on this subject even knowing that she has a teenage daughter who might meet with the same plight? Or did she fear her husband and the consequences? Why did she not ask him to see a psychiatrist about his disorder? Is she finally also to blame for perpetrating violence in her house?

According to RAHI Foundation, an NGO that is working in the area of Child Sexual Abuse and Incest, speaking of mothers a few important myths and fact according to them are cited hereunder –

Myth: Men are forced to have sex with their daughters or other children because their wives won’t have sex with them or cannot satisfy them sexually.
Fact: Men who sexually abuse children do so in addition to, rather than instead of, having sex with their wives. This myth shifts responsibility from the offender to his wife or the child’s mother.

Myth: Mothers always know, either consciously or unconsciously, that sexual abuse is happening to their child.
Fact: Few men are careless enough to have a witness around when they abuse. Many mothers react with shock when they learn about the abuse. Often mothers who do know about the abuse, are in no position to prevent it because of their own powerlessness.

Myth: It is the mother’s job to protect her children. Therefore she is equally responsible for the abuse.
Fact: A mother’s failure to protect her children does not mean she is responsible for the abuser’s actions. Child protection is the responsibility of every adult and does not rest solely on the mother. **

Excuse me, I tend to disagree with the last point. If one of the adults is deranged and addicted to violence against children, all adults in a household cannot be trusted! Especially in the present case, it stands invalid. Madhavi’s mother knew of the potential damage her husband could do to her girls since he has already done it before, so why was she playing, Mrs Innocent?

I say this here and now, in most cases of violence, whether it be sexual abuse or any other form of deprivation or abuse, women are equally responsible because, they are unable to face consequences of what might happen, if they confront the male perpetrator. They exhibit weakness of character and will, fear to fight back or to take to task the perpetrator, which in fact is used as weapons against women themselves, by the male perpetrator of violence.

Hence, in cases of violence against women inside the home, women are accomplice. Is this what everybody feels and thinks as well? Or am I the only woman basher on Blogspot?




** Myths and facts by Rahi Foundation : http://www.rahifoundation.org/incestchild/incestchild/document.2004-07-15.0476800028