I am quite
sure you are aware of the story that is going around on the internet these
days?
No?
Oh!
Well, it is
an age old discussion: how do you tell men that women count. That women have
desires that need to be addressed, and men can’t just turn their face the other
way pretending that because they, gendered male, made sex with a woman, she is
over the hill with joy!
The First
Online Tamil Lifestyle Magazine called Tamil
Culture ( See link below) has
done it going way out to bring sense to the male (It’s just about the penis)
mind, to consider women’s desires too, before they go the whole hog to say,
that only men count.
The nicely
done article by Niveda Anandan hits hard on men. “But
we Tamil women get horny too. Contrary to popular belief, we have sexual urges
as well. Just as you experience complete sexual liberation, we wish to have the
same without being judged and ridiculed as “not marriage material”. We are not
objects to be judged as “easy” or “used” and are disgusted that you would even
use these terms to describe us.” Atta girl!
Now, what is marriageable, material you may ask?
Please note: virgins, women who
have never touched a man or not been touched by one either, who have kept their
bodies covered and not exposed it to public, who have not hungered for sex, in
mind and body, these are your, yours truly virgins; woman who have not had sex,
before marriage, in other words. The impossible, is hardly possible in these
times!
In a culture that is schizophrenic, caught between the extreme conservative
and traditional while at the same time modern, Indian society stands as a
classic clash between the past and the present. Really there are no women out
there who fear being ‘deflowered’ before marriage. They simply follow what they
have been taught from childhood – virginity is paramount and must be a treasure
to be offered only on the night of marital conjugation, that too with a man, of
course. Many are bolder and don’t waste their youth on such rules. Behind the
curtain, sab chalta hai, everything
goes! They simply hoodwink the
parents/guardians and go ahead to take a “full body dip, in the well of passion”.
Refreshing change!
I ask why is it important
for a woman to be a virgin to be marriageable. And the answer is: it boils down
to that absurd practice remember, patriarchy thy name is foul. Primitive,
regressive and downright demeaning, patriarchy is about possession – the body
of a woman, land, house, wealth, jewels, all and everything that must go to the
child who is the ‘real’ inheritor of
the wealth, which is the legitimate child of an unpolluted (read virgin) woman, who belongs to one man.
There are other questions that come to mind. Why has the article not
addressed the growing numbers of women who love woman? In a state where the
Chief Minister herself has been living with a woman for decades, why has the
author not addressed these desires as well and told the men off!
If desire for love and sex is not to be dominated by the penis, then, it
certainly breaks the patriarchal norms, and finds its own shore in some other
bed. And that discussion has been left out, sadly. So, really, while fighting
the battle against capital ‘P’ –
prick and/or patriarchy, has the author, sidelined same sex partnership as a
valid and bold route to overthrow the ‘P’-factor
that ails our society?
Tamil Culture Online Magazine:
